I'm going to be honest.
I have felt like a crummy mother lately.
Crummy mother, wife, friend, person...frustrated, defeated, worn out...
There could be many reasons for this but there is one that trumps them all.
Where is God in my life?
Sure, I go to church, pray with my kids at meals and bedtime, listen to Christian music and so on.
But when was the last time I prioritized Him over TV? or the computer? or sleep? or thanked Him for all the good in our lives? or told Him how much I love Him just because?
And that is when things start to fall apart.
And I have to say "Duh!' to myself.
That's right, "Duh!"
I NEED Him. More than almost anytime before. And I am neglecting Him the most now.
Does that even make sense? What am I doing?
Seriously.
I linked to Meg's post about this very thing not too long ago and it is sinking in even more this week.
Yes, I am a wife and mother, but I am a child of God first and I need to put Him first before anything else has a chance of falling into place. I need to SURRENDER. I can't do it all. And when I try to on my own, I end up feeling like this.
Crummy.
But when I put Him first, I can be confident that what my kids are seeing and learning is the real deal. Even when things get rough.
And I have to be the real deal because, as Missy over at It's Almost Naptime says, I am their bible study. Isn't that amazing?! You have to read Missy's post - it had me in tears. Convicting and inspiring at the same time.
I want to be a good bible study for them. Make that great.
Thanks for letting me get real with you for a little bit. Feels a little bit like therapy, I would think.
Now I am going to get real with my faith.
Joshua 24:15
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
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